Strap-On Beginner: Your Guide to Choosing Your First Harness and Dildo

Introduction: What is Strap-On Sex?

Introduction: What Is Strap-On Sex?

Strap-on sex is a type of sexual activity that involves one partner wearing a harness with a dildo attached to it, which is then used for penetrating their partner. While some people may associate strap-ons with same-sex couples or pegging, they are actually much more versatile than that. Strap-ons can be used to play with gender roles, explore power dynamics, or simply add some variety to your sex life. In fact, strap-on sex can be enjoyed by anyone, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. If you’re curious about trying strap-on sex, keep reading to learn more about how to choose the right harness and dildo, and how to prepare for your first experience. And if you’re still not convinced, consider the many benefits of strap-on sex, including increased intimacy, empowerment, and the opportunity to explore new forms of pleasure. So why not give it a try?

Why Try Strap-On Sex?

Why Try Strap-On Sex?
Strap-on sex is not just for partners with vaginas or for pegging, it is much more inclusive than that. There are several reasons to try strap-on sex, including exploring new pleasures, empowerment and role reversal, and intimacy and connection. Strap-ons can be used to subvert or play with ideas of gender and anatomy, assist with erectile issues, or to act out a sexy fantasy. So, if you want to add some spice to your sex life and experience new pleasures, strap-on sex might be worth trying.

Explore New Pleasures

If you’re looking to spice up your sex life and try something new, strap-on sex can provide a whole new world of pleasure and excitement. Strap-ons can be used for vaginal or anal sex, and can offer a unique and exhilarating experience for both partners. With a strap-on, you can experiment with different positions and sensations, and explore new ways to pleasure each other.

For those who enjoy clitoral stimulation during penetration: Consider using a strap-on with a built-in vibrator, such as the We-Vibe 3. This can provide added stimulation and enhance the experience for both partners.

For those who enjoy prostate stimulation: Look for a strap-on that comes with a curved or angled dildo, such as the Onyx, which can provide targeted prostate stimulation and a more intense orgasm.

For those who are new to anal play: Consider starting with a smaller sized dildo, such as the anal dilator set, to gradually work your way up to larger sizes and more intense sensations.

Remember, communication is key when exploring new pleasures with a strap-on. Talk to your partner about what you both enjoy and what you’re comfortable with, and don’t be afraid to experiment and try new things. With the right harness and dildo, the possibilities for pleasure and excitement are endless.

Empowerment and Role Reversal

Exploring strap-on sex can be a powerful experience for both partners, especially when it comes to empowerment and role reversal. For some, using a strap-on can be a way to experiment with power dynamics in a safe and consensual way. The person wearing the strap-on can feel a sense of control and confidence, while the person being penetrated can experience a surrender of power and vulnerability. This can be a thrilling and intimate experience for both partners.


Role reversal is another exciting aspect of strap-on play, where traditional gender roles are challenged or reversed. The person wearing the strap-on can experience what it feels like to have a penis, while the person being penetrated can explore their receptive side. This can be particularly empowering for women who may feel limited by societal expectations of their sexuality.


Strap-on sex offers a unique opportunity for partners to explore new sensations, experiment with power dynamics, and challenge traditional gender roles. Whether you’re looking to try something new or deepen your connection with your partner, strap-on sex can be a thrilling and rewarding experience. So why not give it a try?


If you’re new to strap-on sex, be sure to check out our beginner’s guide to get started. And if you’re looking to add some extra stimulation to your strap-on play, consider exploring some of our other articles on charged vibrators, clitoral stimulators, and oral sex simulators. Happy exploring!

Intimacy and Connection

Strap-on sex can be a great way to deepen the intimacy and connection between partners. Wearing a strap-on dildo requires a high level of trust and vulnerability, which can create a strong emotional bond. The act of penetrative sex can also be incredibly intimate, and can create a sense of closeness and intimacy that is difficult to replicate with other sexual activities. Whether you are using a strap-on for vaginal or anal sex, the close physical contact and shared experience can help to build a deeper connection between partners. Additionally, strap-on sex can be a way to explore power dynamics and role-playing, which can further deepen the emotional connection between partners. Strap-on sex is an exciting and versatile way to enhance intimacy and connection in your sexual relationship.

Choosing the Perfect Harness

Choosing The Perfect Harness
When it comes to choosing the perfect harness for strap-on sex, there are a few key factors to consider. It’s important to think about your body type and comfort, as well as the right material and style for your preferences. You’ll want to decide between jockstrap, thong, or briefs styles, and whether an adjustable or fixed size harness is best for you. Other features to look for include durability, ease of use, and compatibility with different dildo sizes and shapes. To ensure the best experience, take the time to choose a harness that feels comfortable and secure, so you can focus on enjoying the pleasure of strap-on sex.

Consider Your Body Type and Comfort

When it comes to choosing the perfect strap-on harness, it’s important to consider your body type and level of comfort. There are many different styles of harnesses available on the market, so it’s important to find one that fits your body well and doesn’t cause any discomfort during use.

If you have a larger body type, you may want to look for a harness that has wider straps for added support. On the other hand, if you have a smaller body type, you may want to look for a harness that has thinner straps for a more comfortable fit.

It’s also important to consider the material of the harness. Leather is a popular choice for its durability and classic look, but it can be more difficult to clean than other materials. Nylon and neoprene are also popular choices for their comfort and ease of cleaning.

Another factor to consider is the style of the harness. Jockstrap-style harnesses offer more support and stability, while thong-style harnesses offer more comfort and mobility. Brief-style harnesses offer a balance between the two.

Finally, consider whether you want an adjustable or fixed-size harness. Adjustable harnesses allow for more customization and flexibility in fit, but fixed-size harnesses are often more stable and secure.

By considering your body type and comfort level, you can find the perfect strap-on harness for your needs and enjoy a comfortable and pleasurable experience. And if you’re looking for other types of sex toys to explore, check out our guide on anal vibrators for straight men or our review of the popular toy, Lush. Plus, enjoy free shipping on all sex toy orders.

Choose the Right Material

When choosing a material for your strap-on, it’s important to consider both safety and comfort. The most popular materials for strap-ons are silicone, leather, and PVC. Silicone is a safe, non-porous material that is easy to clean and sterilize. It’s also soft and flexible, providing a comfortable and realistic feel. Leather can be a bit more expensive, but it’s durable and can last for years with proper care. It’s also adjustable, making it a great choice for those who want a custom fit. However, leather is porous, so it requires more cleaning and maintenance. PVC is an affordable option that is easy to clean, but it’s not as durable as silicone or leather. It also has a stronger smell and can cause irritation for some people. Another option to consider is cyberskin, a material that mimics the feel of real skin. However, cyberskin is porous and requires special cleaning and maintenance. Remember to choose a material that is safe, comfortable, and fits your budget. If you’re unsure which material is right for you, consider consulting with a knowledgeable salesperson or doing further research online.

Select Your Style: Jockstrap, Thong, or Briefs

When it comes to strap-on sex, choosing the right harness is crucial to ensure a comfortable and enjoyable experience. One important factor to consider when selecting your harness is the style that suits you best. Jockstrap-style harnesses provide more support and stability, making them a popular choice for more active play. Thong-style harnesses offer minimal coverage and can be more comfortable for extended wear. Brief-style harnesses provide full coverage and support while still allowing freedom of movement. Consider your personal preferences and the type of play you want to engage in when selecting your harness style. Don’t forget to check if the harness is adjustable or fixed in size, and look for additional features such as pockets for vibrators or O-rings of various sizes. With the right harness, you can fully embrace the pleasure of strap-on sex.

Adjustable or Fixed Size?

When choosing a strap-on harness, one important factor to consider is whether to go for an adjustable or fixed size. Adjustable harnesses are versatile and can fit a wide range of body types, making them a good choice for beginners who are still figuring out what works best for them. They usually have straps that can be tightened or loosened to achieve a comfortable fit. Fixed-size harnesses, on the other hand, offer a more secure and stable fit, but may not be suitable for all body types. It’s important to measure yourself carefully and check the size chart before purchasing a fixed-size harness. Ultimately, the choice between adjustable or fixed size comes down to personal preference and comfort. If you’re unsure, it may be worth trying both types to see which one feels best for you. Remember that a comfortable harness is key to a pleasurable experience.

Other Key Features to Look For

When choosing a strap-on harness, there are a few other key features to look for to ensure you get the most out of your experience. For starters, some harnesses come with a built-in O-ring, while others require you to purchase one separately. It’s important to choose an O-ring that fits the dildo you plan to use, otherwise, you may experience discomfort or slippage during use. Adjustable harnesses are a great option if you plan on sharing your strap-on with a partner, as they can be easily adjusted to fit different body types. Additionally, some harnesses come with detachable dildos that allow you to swap out different sizes and shapes for a more customizable experience. Finally, don’t forget to consider the cleaning and care instructions for your harness, as some materials require specific cleaning methods to maintain their quality over time. With these key features in mind, you can choose a strap-on harness that meets all your needs and provides an unforgettable sexual experience. Don’t forget to check out sex toy free shipping for great deals on strap-on harnesses and other sex toys.

Choosing the Right Dildo

Choosing The Right Dildo
When it comes to choosing the right dildo for your strap-on, there are a few key factors to consider. First, choose the right size and shape based on your preferences and comfort level. You can find dildos in a range of sizes and shapes, from realistic to more abstract designs. Next, material and texture matters. Consider which materials you prefer, such as silicone, glass, or metal, and whether you prefer a smooth or textured surface. You should also consider your preferred use, such as vaginal or anal penetration, and whether you want a dildo with a flared base for safety. Finally, don’t forget to look for other features that may enhance your experience, such as a curved shape for G-spot stimulation or a vibrating option. With these factors in mind, you can find the perfect dildo to accompany your strap-on for a fulfilling and enjoyable experience.

Choose the Right Size and Shape

When choosing a dildo for your strap-on, it’s important to consider the size and shape of the toy. Size matters, so be sure to choose a dildo that is comfortable for both you and your partner, especially if you’re a beginner. A larger dildo may look more impressive, but it can be uncomfortable or even painful if you’re not used to it. On the other hand, a smaller dildo may not provide enough stimulation. Consider the girth and length of the toy, and think about what feels good for you and your partner.

The shape of the dildo is also important. Some people prefer a smooth dildo, while others like a toy with texture or ridges for added stimulation. Material and texture matters, so choose a toy made from a body-safe material, such as silicone, that feels good against your skin. Some dildos are curved or angled to stimulate the G-spot or prostate, so think about what kind of sensations you and your partner enjoy.

Remember to consider your preferred use when choosing a dildo. Some dildos are designed for vaginal penetration, while others are better suited for anal play. If you’re planning on using your strap-on for pegging, you may want to choose a dildo with a flared base to prevent it from slipping out of the harness. Other features to look for include a suction cup base for hands-free play, or a dildo that can be used with a harness or as a standalone toy.

Ultimately, the key to choosing the right size and shape of dildo is to experiment and communicate with your partner. Try out different toys and see what feels good, and don’t be afraid to ask for feedback. With a little practice, you’ll find the perfect dildo for your strap-on and be ready to embrace the pleasure of strap-on sex.

Material and Texture Matters

When it comes to choosing a dildo for your strap-on, material and texture matters. The most common materials for dildos are silicone, rubber, and PVC. Silicone is a popular choice because it is hypoallergenic, easy to clean, and can be sterilized. Rubber and PVC are also popular choices because they are soft and flexible. However, they are not as durable as silicone and may contain phthalates, which can be harmful to your health.
Texture is also an important consideration. Some dildos have a smooth surface, while others have ridges, bumps, or veins. The texture can add to the stimulation and pleasure of the experience, but it’s important to choose a texture that you find comfortable and enjoyable. If you’re unsure about what texture you prefer, consider starting with a smooth dildo and working your way up to more texture. Remember, the key is to choose a dildo that feels good for you and your partner.
Pro tip: If you’re looking for a more realistic experience, consider a dildo with a flesh-like texture. Some dildos are even modeled after real penises, like the ones you can find here.

Consider Your Preferred Use

When choosing a dildo for your strap-on, consider your preferred use. Do you want a dildo for vaginal or anal penetration? Are you looking for a dildo that is versatile and can be used for both? Do you want a dildo that is specifically designed for G-spot or prostate stimulation?

Size and shape are important factors to consider when choosing a dildo for your strap-on. If you’re new to strap-on play or have never used a dildo before, it’s best to start with a smaller size and work your way up. Dildos come in many different shapes, from straight and smooth to curved and textured. Consider what kind of stimulation you’re looking for and choose a dildo with the appropriate shape and texture.

Material and texture also play a role in your preferred use. Dildos come in a variety of materials, including silicone, rubber, and glass. Silicone is a popular choice for its body-safe material and easy-to-clean surface. Textured dildos can add extra stimulation to your play, but may not be suitable for everyone. Consider your personal preferences and any sensitivities you may have when choosing a dildo material and texture.

Other features to consider when choosing a dildo for your strap-on include suction cups, vibration, and realism. Suction cups can provide hands-free play, while vibration can add extra stimulation to your experience. Realistic dildos are designed to look and feel like a real penis, but may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Consider what features will enhance your pleasure and choose a dildo accordingly.

Other Features to Look For

When choosing a dildo for your strap-on, there are additional features to consider. Some dildos come with added features that can enhance your experience. Here are some other features to look for:

Feature Description
Vibrations Dildos with built-in vibrators can add extra stimulation and pleasure.
Suction Cups Dildos with suction cups allow for hands-free use and can be attached to a variety of surfaces.
Curved Shape Dildos with a curved shape can provide targeted G-spot or prostate stimulation.
Realistic Features Dildos with realistic details such as veins, ridges, and skin-like textures can enhance the visual and tactile experience.
Removable Dildo Some strap-ons feature a removable dildo that can be swapped out for different sizes or shapes.

Remember, the features you choose ultimately depend on your personal preferences and desired experience. Be sure to consider all your options before making a final decision.

Preparing for Your First Strap-On Experience

Preparing for your first strap-on experience can be nerve-wracking, but it doesn’t have to be. Communication with your partner is key. Make sure to discuss boundaries, preferences, and concerns beforehand to ensure a comfortable and enjoyable experience for both parties. Practice makes perfect, so take some time to get comfortable with the harness and dildo before jumping into sex. Using plenty of lube is essential for comfort and to prevent any tearing or discomfort. Finally, relax and enjoy the experience. Strap-on sex can be a fun and pleasurable way to explore new sexual experiences and connect with your partner on a deeper level.

Communicate with Your Partner

Effective communication with your partner is key to having a successful strap-on experience. Before you start, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation about your desires, expectations, and boundaries. Discuss what you both like and dislike, what you’re comfortable with, and what you want to try. Make sure you are both on the same page and willing to explore together. It’s also important to establish a safe word or signal to use if things become uncomfortable or need to stop. Remember, communication is an ongoing process, so check in with each other throughout the experience to make sure you’re both enjoying yourselves. By communicating clearly and honestly, you can create a safe and enjoyable experience for both you and your partner.

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice is key to getting comfortable with using a strap-on. It may feel awkward or unfamiliar at first, so take the time to practice putting on the harness and adjusting the straps. Get a feel for the weight and balance of the dildo by walking around or moving your hips. You can also practice different positions to find what works best for you and your partner. Start slowly and communicate with each other throughout the process. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes or try something new. With time and practice, you’ll become more confident and skilled with using a strap-on. Remember to always prioritize your comfort and pleasure, and have fun exploring this new experience with your partner.

Use Plenty of Lube

When it comes to strap-on sex, lube is your best friend. Make sure to use plenty of lube to ensure a smooth and comfortable experience. Without enough lube, the dildo can cause discomfort, irritation, or even pain. Plus, lube can enhance sensations and make the experience more pleasurable for both partners.
When choosing a lube, consider the material of your dildo and harness. Water-based lubes are safe for most materials, but some silicone-based lubes can damage silicone toys. Check the label before purchasing. You might also want to try a thicker, longer-lasting lube for anal play.
Apply lube generously to both the dildo and the receiver’s body. Don’t be afraid to reapply as needed during the session. Keep a bottle or tube of lube nearby for easy access. Remember, there’s no such thing as too much lube when it comes to strap-on sex.

Relax and Enjoy the Experience

Strap-on sex can be an exciting and pleasurable experience for both partners. However, it’s essential to relax and enjoy the experience to get the most out of it. Don’t worry if it feels awkward or uncomfortable at first; it takes time to get used to the harness and dildo. Take deep breaths and focus on the sensations you’re experiencing. Remember to communicate with your partner and let them know what feels good and what doesn’t. Try different positions and angles to find what works best for you both. Don’t rush into it and take your time to explore each other’s bodies with your new toy. Remember, it’s all about having fun and exploring new pleasures together. So, relax, and enjoy the ride!

Conclusion: Embrace the Pleasure of Strap-On Sex

Exploring the world of strap-on sex can bring a whole new level of pleasure and connection to your intimate experiences. Whether you’re looking to try something new, explore gender roles, or simply enhance your sexual play, a strap-on can be a versatile tool to help you achieve your desires.

When choosing the perfect harness and dildo, it’s important to consider your comfort, body type, and preferred use. With a wide variety of materials, shapes, and sizes available, there’s sure to be a combination that works best for you and your partner.

As with any new sexual experience, communication with your partner is key, and practice makes perfect. Don’t be afraid to experiment and try new things, and always remember to use plenty of lube to enhance your pleasure.

So, whether you’re a beginner or an experienced player, don’t be afraid to embrace the pleasure of strap-on sex and all the exciting possibilities it has to offer. Let your desires guide you and explore the limitless potential of this versatile tool.

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQs:

1. Can I use a strap-on if I have a penis?

No matter your genitalia, anyone can enjoy strap-on sex. It’s all about exploring new sensations and experiences.

2. How do I know which harness size to choose?

Measure yourself or refer to the size chart provided by the manufacturer to ensure the perfect fit and maximum comfort.

3. What’s the best material for a strap-on harness?

It depends on personal preference, but common materials include leather, nylon, and neoprene.

4. What’s the difference between a jockstrap, thong, and brief-style harness?

Each style offers different levels of comfort and support. Try on different styles to see which one feels best for you.

5. Can I use any dildo with my harness?

No, it’s important to choose a dildo that’s compatible with your harness. Look for dildos with flared bases or O-rings that fit your harness.

6. How do I choose the right size and shape dildo?

Consider your experience level and desired sensation. Start small and work your way up as you become more comfortable with the experience.

7. What’s the best material for a dildo?

Common materials include silicone, glass, and metal. Choose a material that’s easy to clean and feels comfortable to use.

8. Is communication with my partner important during strap-on sex?

Yes, communication is key to ensuring a comfortable and enjoyable experience for both partners. Discuss your preferences and boundaries beforehand.

9. What if I feel nervous or unsure about trying strap-on sex?

It’s normal to feel nervous about trying something new. Take things slow and communicate with your partner throughout the experience.

10. Can I use a strap-on for solo play?

Yes, strap-ons can be used for solo play. Experiment with different positions and sensations to find what feels best for you.

References

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